August 18th, 1984
Dan limped slightly as he walked slowly along the trail between Maypenny’s cabin and the Wheeler’s lake. He carried a paper bag in his hand, and his heart was thumping anxiously. Coming out of the trees, he caught sight of a flash of orange. Focusing his attention on the bright spot, Dan saw Tessa lying on a beach towel on the dock. Like iron filings to a magnet, he was drawn silently toward her.
Tessa was lying on her stomach, stretched out on her oversized orange towel, staring across the water. Her baggy shorts were dark gray and touched her knees, while her extra large green shirt pooled around her. With her tousled hair and bare feet, she looked like a Charles Dickens waif. Dan couldn’t hold back a grin, as he stepped closer to her; until the moment he noticed the tears streaming down her face.
“What’s the matter, Tessa?” he asked gently, stepping onto the dock.
Tessa, startled, rolled over and sat up. “Dan,” she said, wiping at her face. “What brings you here so early?”
“I was up and patrolling, for the first time in forever,” Dan told her, cautiously lowering himself down next to her. “I was headed up to the house to wish you a happy birthday.”
“You remembered?”
“I remember everything about you.” Dan felt his face flush, as he raised his hand to softly wipe a tear from her cheek. “Tell me why you are crying.”
Tessa bit her lip. “Why do you care?” she asked.
“Because,” Dan whispered. “Because you are very important to me.”
“Really?” Tessa looked at Dan bitterly. “If I’m so important, how come you won’t talk to me anymore?” Dan looked at her blankly. “I’ve tried to be patient; truly, I have, but I’ve seen you less then five times in the two weeks we’ve been here together, and anytime we’re even close to alone, you clam up and push me away.” Her large tiger eyes filled with tears. “I know that we were too young and went too fast. I know that time changes people, but Danny, have your feelings for me changed that much? Can’t I do anything to change them back?”
Dan stared, dumbfounded. “Changed?”
“Aren’t you mad at me? For leaving, I mean?” Tessa wiped at her eyes. “I left you, and your life went to hell. I’m sorry. Please, please don’t hate me.”
Dan struggled for words. “Tessa, I don’t know why you’d think...I never hated you. Never. And I was glad you got out before...before everything went so bad. I was relieved that you weren’t there for Luke to use against me. I...I...just...”
Tessa nodded, pushing aside her pride and mustering her courage. “We used to be friends, maybe even more than friends,” she said. “I missed you so much, and I was deliriously happy to find you again. I hoped you would feel the same way, but Danny, you barely talk to me, and you haven’t once tried to kiss me. What was I supposed to think?”
Dan felt his mouth drop open. He struggled for words, but only managed to stutter, “I...uh...Tess...I...”
“Is it another girl?” she asked. “I’ve heard...you know...that there have been girls. I can understand that.” She looked at him, and smiled. “I mean, look at you.”
Dan blushed as he shook his head. “Nani, there isn’t anyone else. There were some girls I dated, and one of them...had potential to be more, but, in the end, she wasn’t you. None of them were you.”
“Then, why? Why do you keep pushing me away?”
“I’m afraid.” Dan blurted the words before he had a chance to think. “I’m absolutely terrified,” he admitted, unable to make eye contact. “At first, I worried that we’d changed too much, and it wouldn’t be the same. But then, every time I was around you, all those feelings came back, and they were even stronger. Now I’m worried that it will be even better than before, and we’ll do something...stupid.” Dan raised his eyes to meet Tessa’s. “I can’t afford to do anything stupid right now. Not when we’re going in front of the judge, and especially not with us having to face...him.”
“Archie.” Tessa spat the name from her mouth with distaste.
Reaching for Dan’s hands, she gripped them tightly in hers. “He isn’t going to win, Danny. Not this time. We are. You have to believe that. We aren’t those same two terrified kids. We aren’t alone. We have each other, and an incredible amount of family behind us, not to mention enough money to overthrow a small island nation.” She grinned at him, and he returned the grin, turning his hands to squeeze hers. “It will be all right. I know it.”
Dan looked into Tessa’s eyes, searching. What he found reassured him, and he felt his fear slipping away. “If you say so,” he told her, “then I have no choice but believe it.” He released her hands, running his fingers slowly along the curve of her jaw, still hesitant.
Tessa shivered at his touch. With a half smile, she whispered, “Why do I always have to go first?” Raising her hands to Dan’s face, she leaned in, brushing his lips with hers. A gentle touch, like butterfly wings, and Dan reacted, returning the kiss with a bit more pressure. It lasted an eternity, yet ended much too soon. Tessa pulled away and asked, “So, has it changed for you?”
“Yes,” Dan admitted. “It’s even better than I remembered.”
A brilliant smile lit up Tessa’s face, and she snuggled up next to him. Raising her face to his, she whispered, “Then don’t stop.”
For a long time, he didn’t.
They were stretched out on the beach towel, side by side, quietly talking. Tessa’s head was resting on Dan’s shoulder, her arm lying across his chest. “Is your leg still bothering you?” she asked.
“It’s a lot better, since I got the stitches out,” Dan assured her. “It hurts a little if I’m on it too much, and every once in a while, if I put too much weight on my leg, it won’t hold me up and I fall on my face. That’s embarrassing, but the doctor says it’s normal. I’m still taking pain pills, but not as often. I hope to be able to stop completely, really soon.”
“You could have died out there,” Tessa mused. “You could have died, and I never would have known you were ever even here.”
“You could have died in that accident in Wales,” Dan reminded her. “I read your journal letters,” he admitted. “I can read between the lines, Tessa. You almost died, but you didn’t, and I didn’t. We’re here, now, and what happened in the past is in the past.”
“Just the future.” Tessa lifted her head and kissed Dan’s chin. “Together, right?”
Dan raised himself up and leaned in to claim her lips. “Together,” he whispered, as his mouth touched hers.
“DAN!”
Startled, Dan and Tessa broke apart. Standing at the end of the dock was Bill Regan, his hands on his hips, mouth tight. Regan’s face was nearly as red as his hair, and when he spoke, his tone was cold and precise. “Daniel, in my office. Now!” He turned and stomped up the hill, toward the stables.
“Oops. Busted.” Dan pulled himself to his feet and grinned weakly at Tessa. She looked at him, confusion and fear in her eyes. “It’ll be okay, Tessa,” Dan assured her, “Regan was just a little surprised. I’ll go talk to him, and I’ll see you later.”
“He looked angry,” Tessa’s voice was small as she rose to stand next to Dan.
“Yeah, well, he probably is,” Dan admitted. “But he usually gets it out of his system pretty quickly.” Dan shrugged. “I’d better go and get this over with.”
“I’ll go with you,” Tessa started, “I’ll explain...”
“No.” Dan shook his head. “This is between my uncle and me. I’ll take care of it.” He leaned down and kissed her again. “I’ll see you in a little while.” He picked up his paper sack, and started slowly up the hill.
Tessa watched him go, trying to fight the sense of panic rising in her throat. Dan didn’t act nervous, but Regan had seemed so incredibly angry. Tessa felt her stomach tighten, and her heart began to pound. Fear for Dan began to consume her as he disappeared into the stable, and she started running up the hill.
“What the HELL were you thinking?” Regan paced in front of Dan, fury nearly dripping from his pores. “Never mind,” he answered himself, “You obviously weren’t thinking!” Regan faced his nephew, hands fisted on his hips. “You can’t be doing...that with her.”
“Doing what?” Dan asked, folding his arms across his chest. “I was kissing her, Regan. That’s all.”
“That’s enough.” The pacing began again. “In fact, it’s too much. You can’t go around groping the boss’ niece!”
“I wasn’t groping her!” Dan felt himself getting angry.
“I know what I saw,” Regan stated. “You were all over her. Damn it Dan, she’s fifteen, and she’s the niece of the man who holds your future by his fingertips. Don’t mess with her.”
“She’s sixteen,” Dan’s voice was coldly furious. “Today is her birthday. She turned sixteen at one minute past one o’clock this morning. Something I know, because I know her. I’ve known her longer than you or Mr. Wheeler have, longer than most of her family.”
“You haven’t seen her in two years,” Regan shook his head. “You two were barely teenagers, and you’re still too young to be having that kind of relationship.”
“What kind of relationship would that be?” Dan paused, narrowing his eyes. “Sexual? Do you think I’m having sex with Tessa?”
“Aren’t you?” Regan answered Dan’s question with one of his own.
Dan looked at his uncle with a mix of dismay and disgust. “If that’s what you think of me, then this conversation is over.” Dan spun away, stumbling as he put too much weight on his injured leg.
Moving quickly, Regan grabbed Dan’s arm roughly, keeping him from falling. “Whoa! Easy there, we’re not done yet.”
“Yes, you are!”
Dan’s eyes widened, and Regan turned his head toward the voice, wincing as something sharp poked him in the back. Standing behind them, holding a pitchfork in shaking hands, stood Tessa. “Let him go,” Tessa ordered in a trembling voice. “Just take your hands off of him and back off.”
When Regan didn’t respond, Tessa jabbed him again. “You steady?” Regan asked his nephew. Dan nodded, and Regan released him, holding his hands up and open as he backed himself up against the wall.
“It’s okay, Tess,” Dan told her quietly. “I’m fine.”
“He’s too mad,” Tessa responded tightly. “He was going to hurt you.”
“No, he wasn’t,” Dan assured her. “My leg went out, just like I told you before. Uncle Bill was keeping me from falling down, that’s all. Honest, Nani, I’m fine. You can put the pitchfork down. It’s okay.”
Tessa swung her eyes to Regan. “You were yelling,” she said, accusation in her voice. I thought...I thought...You grabbed him.” She lowered the pichfork.
“You thought I was going to hit him?” Regan asked, not moving from the wall. Tessa nodded. “I wouldn’t, Tessa. I’m not going to hurt Dan, and I’m not going to let anyone else hurt him, either.”
“You were so angry,” Tessa quietly leaned the pitchfork against a stall and moved to stand next to Dan, who wrapped his arms around her. “You scare me.”
“I’m sorry.” Regan moved a little closer, stopping when Tessa stepped back against his nephew, digging in her heels and stiffening her shoulders. “When I get upset, I have a tendency to yell. I didn’t know what was going on with you and Dan, and I reacted badly.” Taking another step, Regan extended his hand. “I’ve been your friend since we first met,” he reminded her. “I’m not going to let you be hurt, either, Tessa. Can’t we still be friends?”
Tessa watched Regan warily, her personal memories of the man at war with what she had just seen. Dan squeezed her slightly, and she relaxed against him. Extending her own hand, she said, “I’d like that.”
Dan watched as his uncle and his...Tessa reached a truce. “Uncle Bill,” he said. “I’m going to walk Tessa up to the house, and then I’ll come back to finish our discussion. Is that okay with you?”
“That sounds fine.” Regan’s eyes were shuttered, his voice quiet. “I’ll be in my apartment. We can have some breakfast while we talk.” He turned and picked up the pitchfork, carefully placing it on the tool rack as he left the building.
“So, I guess I overreacted a little?” Tessa asked.
“Oh, gee, Tess,” Dan said in a teasing voice, spinning her around to face him. “I don’t know. You stabbed my uncle with a pitchfork.”
“I didn’t stab him,” Tessa said defensively. “I poked him.”
“But you would have stabbed him, wouldn’t you?” Dan looked at her, his eyes soft. “If he had been going after me, you would have stopped him.”
Tessa looked at the ground, and then back at Dan, a frightened look in her eyes. “Yes. Yes, I would have.”
“I appreciate that more than you will ever know.” Dan brushed a stray strand of silky hair off of her face. “I’ll go the distance for you, too. You know that, don’t you?”
Tessa’s face lit up as she smiled. “You always have.”
Dan couldn’t help himself. He bent down and kissed her, her lips soft and responsive against his. Coming up for air, he breathed, “I almost forgot to give you your birthday present.”
“You have a present for me?” Tessa’s eyes lit up. “Where is it? Can I open it now?”
“I have three presents for you,” Dan told her. “Why don’t we walk up to the house, and you can get started opening them?”
“Are you afraid I’m going to test your virtue if we stay in here alone?” Tessa teased.
“Definitely,” Dan grinned. “Being alone with you is extremely dangerous.” He held out his hand, and Tessa took it. Hand in hand, they climbed the hill to the Manor House.
The house was still quiet, its occupants enjoying a summer Saturday sleep-in. Tessa sat down on the porch swing and patted the cushion. Dan sat down next to her, and reached into his paper bag. Pulling out a small, slightly tattered square box, he placed it in her hands.
“I bought this for you two years ago,” he explained. “It was still in my duffel bag when Yaya sent it down to me.”
“Two years ago?” Tessa smiled. “That means you bought it before I...left.” She carefully untaped the box lid and pulled it off. “Oh, Danny,” she exclaimed. “It’s the bracelet that Lana was making.” Tessa gently lifted the bracelet out of the box. Round amber beads, interspersed with pink and orange glass leaves, were threaded on copper wire. Slipping it onto her right wrist, Tessa looked at it happily, fingering the delicate glass beads. “She told me it wasn’t going to be sold.”
“That’s because she had already promised it to me,” Dan told her. “I told her I wanted it for your birthday. Do you like it?”
“I love it!” Tessa assured him. “I loved it two years ago, when Lana was working on it, and I love it even more now. Thank you.”
“You’re welcome,” Dan said, pulling out another box. This one was longer and narrow, wrapped in red tissue paper that had seen better days. “This one I bought for you last year. When Mr. Wheeler took us to Mississippi last summer, I saw this, and I thought about you.”
“Nice tissue paper,” Tessa said with a smile.
“My uncle has a whole drawer of it, hundreds of sheets; all red,” Dan told her. “He won’t say where he got it, but he’s been trying to get rid of it ever since I’ve known him.”
Tessa pulled off the tissue and opened the box. Nestled in cotton was a chain of filigreed gold, from which dangled a small carved wooden flower.
“It’s a magnolia,” Dan explained. “I know that it’s the Mississippi state flower, but I also thought it was pretty, and something about it reminded me of you.”
“You didn’t even know where I was, and you still bought me a birthday present. Thank you, so much,” Tessa mused, running her fingers around the carving. “You are really someone special, kane ipo. You truly are.”
“You were always with me, Nani.” Dan leaned in to kiss her again, causing the swing to sway. “In my heart and in the back of my mind. I couldn’t forget you, no matter how hard I tried.”
“Did you try hard?” Tessa asked.
“Yes.” Dan looked away. “I tried to forget everything about you, but I never could. I swear, sometimes it was as if you were standing right beside me; I could feel you, but I just couldn’t see you.”
“I’d say that I thought about you every day,” Tessa said. “But I was unconscious for a week, so I can’t say that it was every day. It was just every day that I was aware.”
Dan stretched his arm across Tessa’s shoulders, and she leaned comfortably against him. “I thought you said you had three presents for me.” Tessa murmured, looking up at him.
“I do, Miss Greedy,” Dan replied. “But I thought I’d wait until your party tonight to give you the last one.”
“You are going to be there?” Tessa’s face brightened. “I’m glad. I really wanted you to celebrate with me. That’s the best present of all!” She kissed him sweetly.
Dan sighed, and reluctantly pulled away. “I need to go and take care of things with my uncle.”
Tessa tensed, chewing on her lower lip. She looked at Dan with worried eyes, but said nothing. “I’ll be fine,” Dan assured her. “I promise.”
“You aren’t going to let him keep us apart, are you?” Tessa asked.
“Nope. Not happening.” Dan ran his hand through her hair. “I had to let you go once, Nani. I’m not going to do that again.”
“Good.” Tess grabbed Dan’s face between her hands and pulled him towards her. “Because I’m sticking. Right here. With you.” She kissed him again, a short, hard kiss. Rising from the swing, she smiled. “I’ll see you later, right?”
Dan touched his mouth and nodded. “Later,” he said. “Definitely later.” He watched her as she slipped into the house, and then pulled himself to his feet and headed for the garage.
Slowly, Dan climbed the stairs to Regan’s apartment. This first Saturday back out patrolling had been harder on his leg than he had expected; his thigh was aching with each upward step. Reaching the landing, he knocked briefly to announce his presence, and then opened the door and limped into the room. The apartment smelled of bacon and eggs, and Dan was startled to hear his stomach rumble in response.
Regan stood in front of the stove, turning the eggs. He looked up as Dan entered, but he only nodded, his face without expression. Silently, Dan took his place at the table. Regan brought the food to the table, and took his own seat.
Regan ate methodically, while Dan pushed his food around on his plate and chewed on a bite of toast. The air was thick with quiet tension; Regan broke the silence when he set down his fork and said, “Danny, I suppose I owe you an apology.” Dan looked at his uncle, waiting. “You aren’t going to make this easy for me, are you?” Regan asked rhetorically. “Fine. I overreacted, and I am sorry.”
“Uncle Bill,” Dan responded. “I’m not going to apologize for kissing Tessa.”
“I don’t expect you to.”
“I’m not going to stop kissing her, either, Uncle Bill.”
“I wasn’t planning on asking you to.” Regan tugged at his red hair. “You really do think you love her, don’t you?”
“I don’t think. I know.” Dan answered the question with absolute confidence.
“I just...ah jeez...” Regan searched for the right words. “I just want you to be careful. You’re both way too young for the kind of...intensity you seem to have. Accidents happen, Danny.”
“I am not having sex with Tessa.” Dan said the words calmly and clearly. “I hadn’t kissed her in two years, Uncle Bill, not until this morning. I have two years to make up for.” He grinned. “I think we’ll be able to slack off the intensity a little, you know, once we get caught up.”
“She has strong feelings for you, too,” Regan mused, unconsciously rubbing his back. “The way she put herself between us, and the pitchfork! I really think she would have stabbed me.”
“She would have,” Dan admitted. “Tessa isn’t normally violent, but she’s very protective. I don’t know that she would have killed you, to protect me, but she would have hurt you.”
“And you’d do the same for her.”
“In a heartbeat.” Dan shrugged. “I know that you think we’re too young for a relationship, and I know you’re worried about the class issue, but Tessa and I have already lived enough for two lifetimes, and we were both dirt poor when it started. Her money isn’t going to change that, because we won’t let it.”
“What about her family?” Regan asked. “You’ve got the Beldens on one side and the Wheelers on the other. They might like you now, but they won’t be so friendly if you knock up their niece.”
Dan had finally had enough. “Why do you keep saying things like that?” he exploded. “I don’t know what I supposedly did to deserve this... reputation I seem to have acquired, but it isn’t true. I am not having sex with Tessa; hell, I haven’t had sex with anyone, and I’m not planning on it at all until I can put a ring on Tessa’s finger, in front of God and a priest! Why can’t you believe that?”
Regan froze. Dan’s face was red, but whether it was anger or embarrassment, he wasn’t sure. “I...I...” Regan swallowed. “I’m sorry, Danny,” he said. “I just assumed that you were...experienced that way.”
“Why?” Dan seemed genuinely perplexed. “I really don’t know how I became the Casanova of Sleepyside.”
Regan sighed. “I thought that you...I did some research into gang life, before bringing you here. Sex, drugs, violence and alcohol. I figured that you had opportunity to experience all of that. Put that together with the number of different girls you’ve gone out with...are you telling me that you are a virgin?
This time the blush on Dan’s cheeks was definitely not anger. “I’m far from innocent,” he said. “I’ve seen more, and probably know more than a lot of guys, but yeah, I’m a virgin, okay?. It was one of the few things I could control, okay? Like, the only time I could say no to something without worrying about getting hit. Besides, sex without marriage is a sin. A mortal sin.” Dan stopped for breath, calming himself. “Mum and Da both always said that relations between a husband and wife are sacred and special, and casual sex cheapens that. Mum told me that she hoped that I’d wait, if not until I got married, then at least until I found the right woman.”
“And you think that Tessa Hart is the right woman?”
“I know she is.” Dan sighed and took a drink of his juice. “Look, I like girls. I like them a lot. The ones I hang around with are smart and funny and they smell really good. I like being with them, and I liked kissing them, but, with Tessa it’s different. I didn’t desperately miss the other girls when they were gone. I saw Tess twenty minutes ago, and I feel like I might die if I don’t see her again really soon.”
“But that’s exactly what I’m worried about.” Regan tugged at his hair with both hands. Don’t get me wrong, I think it’s great that you’re saving yourself for the right girl, I wish more people would. But, Danny, if Tessa is the right one, what’s to stop you from getting carried away?”
“I love her, Uncle Bill,” Dan explained. “I love her and I respect her, and I would never, ever deliberately do something to hurt her. I want our first time to be as husband and wife.” He shrugged. “That’s all I have to say. I guess you’ll just have to trust me.” His eyes stared defiantly into Regan’s.
Silence reigned as Regan stared back at his nephew. Dan’s dark blue eyes glowed with emotion, and Regan could see that he honestly meant every word he had said. Bill Regan had no words. Twenty-five years, most of it alone had not prepared him for the depth of emotion he was seeing in his sixteen-year-old nephew. He remembered himself at sixteen; the stolen kisses with Joan Stinson, in the Worthington stables. Regan well knew that he had had only one thing on his mind, and it hadn’t been marriage. Marriage still was a foreign concept to him, and Regan wondered if he would feel differently had he been raised, along with Dan, by Tim and Saraid. Another regret to be added to the box of regrets carefully stored in the back of his mind.
Becoming aware of Dan, waiting patiently for a response, Regan nodded slowly. “Okay,” he said. “I’ll trust you.”
“Thank you.” Dan picked up his fork and took a mouthful of egg. Swallowing, he changed the subject. “I wanted to talk to you about something else. Are you game?”
“I hope so,” Regan grinned. “But I don’t come with guarantees.”
Dan laughed. “It’s not anything like that,” he said. “It has to do with the adoption.”
“Are you having second thoughts?” Regan asked.
“No, not at all,” Dan assured him. “I’m actually kind of anxious for it to be final. It will nice to have, you know, a real dad, again. It’s about my name.”
“Daniel?”
“No.” Dan laughed again. “No, I’m kind of used to the Daniel. It’s one of the other parts I’m considering dropping.”
Regan once again fell out of his comfort zone and into the realm of oh-Lord-what-am-I-supposed-to-say?. Trying to recover, he scratched an eyebrow and faced his nephew. “Okay. Give me your reasons.”
