Regan arrived with the sun.  Dan was already up and dressed, eating waffles at the kitchen table.  Maypenny made his standard offer.  “Pull up a chair and have some breakfast, Regan.”  This time, Regan did just that.  He tried to ignore the wary look in Dan’s eyes as he passed the syrup, and concentrated on his food instead.

        When they finished eating, Dan started clearing the table.  “I’ll do that, lad,”  Mr. Maypenny told him.  “You go get your things.  The sooner you go, the sooner you’ll be back.”  Dan nodded and did as he was told.

        “What are the odds the judge will give him back?”  Maypenny asked.  “We talked briefly, last night, but now I want your honest opinion.”

        “I don’t know, honestly,”  Regan said, rubbing his head with his hands.  “I was pretty darn negative, when I was there with the judge, and he made it clear to me that he thinks I’m a failure.  Mr. Wheeler has written a letter, the entire Belden family wrote a packet, and I’ve got yours.  There haven’t been any complaints from the school.  All that should carry some weight.  But in the end, I really don’t know.”

        “Do yourself a favor, Bill,”  Mr. Maypenny spoke softly, and Regan started at the use of his first name.   “Find out what makes the boy tick.  Get to know him while you can.”

        “I want to try,” Regan said, “But it’s hard for me.  Last night I found some common ground.  I hope we can build on that, but sometimes, the past is painful.”

        Dan came in the door with his things in a paper sack.  He shrugged at Maypenny’s curious look, and said, “Luke took my backpack.  Sorry.”

        “What backpack?”  Regan asked. 

        “The one Mr. M gave me for my birthday,” Dan said.  “It was a nice one, too.”

        “When was your birthday?”  Regan asked.

        “Last Tuesday,” Dan told him flatly. “The day you were too busy to take me to school.”

        Regan’s first reaction was defensive, but he pushed it down.  Looking Dan directly in the eye, he said, “I’m sorry, Danny.  I should have remembered your birthday.”

        Dan was startled.  Cautiously, he replied, “It’s okay.  It’s not like I told you or anything.”

        Regan grinned at his nephew.  “I guess we need to work on our communication skills.”

        Dan smiled in spite of himself.  “Maybe,” he said.

        “We can work on it in the car,”  Regan said.  “I think I just heard Tom pull up.”  He stood up, nodding at Mr. Maypenny.

        Maypenny rose and walked them to the door.  He shook Regan’s hand, and turned to Dan.  “I’ll see you soon, lad,” he told the boy.  “Your room is waiting.”

        Dan swallowed hard and whispered, “Thanks.”

        In the car, Regan sat in the back, next to Dan, instead of his regular spot in the front with Tom.  At first, this made Dan very uncomfortable, but after a few minutes he realized that his uncle was trying to make a connection with him.  The realization made him feel warm inside.  He turned to Regan and asked shyly, “Where did you learn about horses?”

        Regan looked at his nephew.  Dan was trying too, so Regan gave him the edited version.  “One of the homes I was farmed out to from the orphanage had horses.  I always enjoyed them, so when I left the orphanage, I went looking to work with horses.  I got lucky working as a groom for a boarding stable.  That’s how I met Matthew Wheeler; when he decided to move to the country, he hired me to look after things.”  Regan fell silent, searching for something more to say.

        “That rhyme you taught Bobby Belden?”  Regan waited until Dan looked at him.  “Your mom used to sing that to me, when we were kids in the orphanage.”

        “Really?”  Dan smiled wistfully.  “She liked to sing.  She had a beautiful voice.”

        “I remember,”  Regan said.  “And she could tell the most wonderful stories.  Did she ever tell you the one about Michael Flannery and the Wailing Banshee?”

        Dan laughed out loud.  “That was a good one, but my favorite was the one about the Wishing Star.”

        “I don’t remember that one,”  Regan said.  “What was it about?”

        “It’s about these three children who are lost and alone in the woods.  The oldest one, Denny, he climbs the highest tree, searching for the path out.  He climbs so high, he can’t return to Earth.  The middle child, the girl, Colleen, and the littlest one, Lee, are snatched by the Fey, and taken a land where they have all they need, but can never leave.   A wandering Prince rescues Colleen from the Fey and whisks her away to wander the Earth with him.  Colleen is happy with her Prince, but she longs for her brothers, for she cannot climb so high as Denny, and the Fey only let her see Lee on solstice days.    

        Her Prince does all he can to find them for her.  He climbs the tallest tree, but Denny has been taken by the night sky and has chosen to become a shining star.  The Prince returns to Colleen, and tells her of her eldest brother’s fate.  She weeps for her loss, but is pleased that Denny has found his place. 

        Before the winter solstice, the Prince makes an offer to the King of the Fey.  If the Fey will give back the youngster, the Prince will give over half of his inheritance.  The King agrees, but it is a trick.  The Prince and Colleen arrive on solstice to retrieve the youngest brother.  In his place is a stuffed doll, but the boy has vanished.  Colleen is sad, although now she has a son of her own to care for.  The little prince grows as they wander, but Colleen’s sadness is always present.  She longs for her remaining brother, lost to the Fey. 

        One night, she sees her eldest brother as a shining star in the night sky, and she makes a  wish.  “Star light, star bright, shining in the sky tonight:  A child lost and all alone, please, oh please, bring him home.”

        The Denny star shines brighter and brighter in the night sky, for with her heartfelt wish, he has become a Wishing Star.  Colleen covers her eyes, and when she takes away her hands, her youngest brother is standing in front of her.  Lee runs to her, and she embraces him, holding him to her heart.  Reunited, she brings him to her new family.  The Prince welcomes him as a son, as well as a younger brother.  The little prince looks to him as an older brother and protector.  And they all live happily ever after, together, forever, under the light of the Wishing Star.”

        Dan finished his story and looked at his uncle.  Regan’s face was tight and his jaw was twitching.  “Reg...Uncle Bill?  Are you okay?”

        “Yes, I’m fine,” Regan replied in a husky voice.  “That’s quite a story.”

    “Mum told it better,” Dan admitted.  “But she always cried.”

        “I bet she did,”  Regan looked out the window.  “It’s a sad story.”

        “But it has a happy ending,” Dan said.  “They all live happily together.  That’s good, right?”

        “Yes.  Yes it is.”  Regan assured the boy.  “You told it very well.  Saraid would be proud.”

        “You called her Saraid,”  Dan said.  “Are you sure you’re okay?”

        “Her name was Saraid,” Regan replied.  “She deserves to be called by her name.  She was a good mother, wasn’t she?”

        “Yeah.”  Dan swallowed hard.  “Yeah.  She was a great mum.  The best.”

        Tom interrupted, “We’re here fellows.” 

        Dan looked out the window, and realized they were indeed outside the courthouse.  He opened his door, and stepped out.  He was suddenly afraid, and wanted nothing more than to turn and run.  Only the presence of his uncle, standing strong beside him kept him moving forward.

        What had originally been intended to be a brief meeting to facilitate the release of custody of one Daniel Mangan, minor, from William Regan to the State of New York, had evolved into a complicated mess.  Judge Armen came into his chambers prepared to sign papers remanding the boy into state detention.  Instead, he was met by an anxious redheaded uncle, swearing that he had made a mistake and wanted to change his mind.  To make matters even more confusing were the letters:  Thirteen of them, to be exact.  They ranged from the very formal writings of Matthew Wheeler, millionaire, to the rambling scrawl of one Bobby Belden, age six.  Each letter--albeit, in a different way--proclaimed Daniel Mangan a decent human being, a person of ethics and morals, and asked the judge to please return him to Sleepyside.  Through the entire procedure of sifting through the papers, the boy in question sat quietly in his seat, looking at the floor.

        Judge Harvey Armen looked at his watch and cleared his throat.  “Mr. Regan,” he said, “when you were here two days ago, you told me in no uncertain terms, that Daniel was making a mess of things in Sleepyside.  Now you sit here and tell me you were mistaken.”  The judge held up his hand, stopping Regan before he could speak.  “I simply don’t have any more time today.  This was supposed to be a fifteen minute appointment.  We have been reviewing this for nearly two hours, and I am already late for another appointment.”  He pressed a button on his intercom.  “Debbie?  When is the next opening in my schedule?”  There was a pause, and the secretary’s voice was heard, “Tomorrow at two, you have about forty-five minutes.”  Judge Armen sighed, “Very well, schedule in Mr. Regan, please.”

        Turning his attention to Dan, the judge addressed him directly, for the first time.  “Daniel,” he said sternly.  Dan looked at him, hesitantly.  “I don’t feel comfortable making a decision until I have had a chance to really review all the information, and that includes speaking with you.  I won’t have a chance to do that until tomorrow.  Normally, I would send you back to Spofford for the night,”  Dan tensed, and Regan started to protest, but the judge continued, “However, your uncle neglected to sign the papers relinquishing custody; therefore I am sending you home with him.  I will see you tomorrow at two, exactly.  I’d like to get this over with as soon as possible.  Understood?”

        “Yes, sir.”  Dan said.  “Thank you.”

        “You’re welcome.” Judge Armen rose from his chair and extended his hand to Regan.  “Until tomorrow, Mr. Regan.”

        “Yes, sir.”  Regan shook the hand, and watched the judge leave the room.  Turning to Dan, he said, “Let’s go.”

        “Where?” Dan asked.  “Are we going back to Sleepyside?”

        “No,” Regan told him.  “Mr. Wheeler already told me we could use his apartment tonight if we had to stay.  I’ll call home when we get to the apartment and let him know we’ll be staying.”

        “What about Tom?” Dan asked. 

        “Tom was never taking us home,”  Regan said absently.  “He had someone to pick up at the airport.  I planned to take the train home.”  He headed out the door and down the hall, Dan trailing behind him.

        Dan was quiet through the taxi ride uptown.  Regan noticed, but he was busy with his own thoughts.  Once inside the penthouse apartment, Regan placed his call, leaving Dan to unpack his meager belongings, and settle into the room they would share for the night.

        The apartment was amazing.  The guest room he would share with his uncle was huge;  a good portion of Mr. Maypenny’s cabin would fit inside it.  Dan closed the dresser drawer on his change of clothes, and flopped on one of the full sized beds.  That was how Regan found him; lying on the bed, staring at the ceiling.

        “Why don’t we head out?  There are a lot of shops fairly close.  We’ll get some lunch, and then we’ll see about getting your skates, and maybe some clothes and shoes more appropriate for Sleepyside.”

        “Maybe we should wait until tomorrow,” Dan said, glumly.  “When we know if I’m going back...or not.”

        Regan started to tell his nephew to stop being a pessimist, but he stopped himself.  If he looked, really looked, he could see that Dan was honestly worried.    Sitting on the bed, next to his nephew, Regan said,  “You’re going back to Sleepyside, Danny.  I’m not going to let them send you away.  I promise.”

        Dan held his body stiff,  making sure that he didn’t touch Regan.  He wanted to trust the promise, he really did; but trust did not come easy.  He sat up, looking away.  “Okay,” he said, unable to keep the sarcasm out of his voice.  “But don’t worry, I won’t hold you to it.”

        Regan felt the old familiar anger at Dan’s attitude welling up inside him.  “Damn it, Dan!” he nearly shouted, jumping to his feet.  “Would it kill you to think positive?”

        Dan stood too, facing his uncle with the bed between them.  The familiar scowl was back on his face, and he tensed, waiting for the assault.  It didn’t come.

Regan heard Maypenny’s words echoing in his head.  “Do you ever look at him when you’re talking to him??...that boy has a lot of fear in him, maybe you should find out what it is he’s so afraid of....” He saw himself, shaking Dan, the look in the boy’s eyes, and he unclenched his fists.  Breathing deeply, he looked Dan directly in the eyes, and said, “I’m sorry.  I shouldn’t have yelled.  Let’s go out to the living

room and talk about it, okay?”

        Dan nodded, his shoulders relaxed a bit, but his eyes remained wary.  He followed Regan out to the next room.  Regan sat on the sofa.  Dan sat on a chair, keeping the coffee table between them.

        Regan began the conversation with a question.  “You don’t trust me, do you?”  Dan didn’t answer.  “It’s okay.  I probably wouldn’t trust me either, if I were you.  I told you flat out that I didn’t want you, and I went out of my way to avoid interacting with you.  Then I accused you of being a liar and a thief, without giving you a chance to explain things.  Not to mention my attempt to shake a confession out of you,”   Regan shook his head.  “I need to apologize for that.  I was wrong to put my hands on you that way, Danny.  I am more sorry for that than I can ever tell you.”

        Dan shrugged.  “It’s okay.  No big deal.”

        “It’s not okay, and it is a big deal to me,” Regan told him.  “I had things like that happen to me quite a bit when I was younger.  I hated it.  I hated never knowing when someone was going to turn on me, hurt me.  The idea that I would act like that disgusts me.  What is worse, is that I can’t promise that it won’t happen again.  I can promise that I will try not to let it happen again, but I have a temper, and it seems to like you.”

        “I could try not to make you mad,” Dan replied.  “Although I seem to be pretty good at it.”  He smiled.

        Regan shook his head.  “I don’t want you to deliberately make me mad, but neither do I want you to have to watch everything you do, just to make sure you don’t.”  He looked at Dan, sadly.  “I don’t want you to be afraid of me, Danny.”

        “I’m not,” Dan answered, quickly.

        “Sure,”  Regan told him.  “That’s why you flinch every time I touch you.  That’s why you’re sitting halfway across the room, with a coffee table between us.”

        Dan chewed on his lower lip, choosing his words carefully.  “Maybe I am a little...nervous...around you,” he admitted.  “but I don’t know you.  You’re just this big stranger who showed up and started running my life.  You don’t know me, either, and...and you don’t want to.  You didn’t want anyone to know we were related, and you seemed really anxious to get rid of me!  Now, all of a sudden, you’ve changed your mind.  And now I’m supposed to believe you when you say things are all going to work out!  Nothing ever works out!  I want to believe you, but I...I’m afraid to!”  Dan admitted the last in a rush, then covered his face with his hands, embarrassed at having lost control of his emotions.

        Regan didn’t remember leaving the sofa and crossing the room.  He just did it, pulling Dan out of the chair and into a clumsy embrace.  To his surprise, and relief, the boy didn’t stiffen or pull away.  “It’s okay,”  Regan murmured gently, ignoring his own tears.  “It’s going to be okay.  We’re going to make it work.”  He held on and kept whispering, until they both had completely recovered.

        At two o’clock, sharp, Dan was ushered into Judge Armen’s chambers while Regan was left to wait on the bench in the hallway.  Dan was nervous.  His heart was beating faster than normal, and his stomach felt as though he had eaten rocks for lunch.  He shook hands with the judge, and sat in the chair as directed.  He hoped he didn’t look as scared as he felt.

        “So, Daniel,” the judge said.  “I’d like you to tell me how you feel this experiment has gone. After that, I want you to tell me how you would like me to rule, and why I should acquiesce.”

        Dan weighed his words carefully.  “Parts of it went really well,” he said.  “Other parts didn’t.”

        “Tell me what went well.”

        “I like living with Mr. Maypenny,”  Dan said.  “The cabin is nice and so is he.  The job is interesting, and I have a horse to ride when I’m patrolling.  Sleepyside High seems like a good school, even though I’m behind.  I’ve met some really nice people, and they seemed to want me to come back and stuff.”

        “What didn’t go well?”

        Dan sighed.  Be honest, that’s what Regan had told him.  “I screwed up,” he admitted.  “I was feeling all alone, so I wrote a letter to one of my old gang.  I really didn’t expect him to show up, but he did.  He did a bunch of really bad things, and I got blamed.  That made me mad, so I ran away with...”

        “Luke Clevik?”

        “You know?” Dan asked.

        “Yes,” Judge Armen said.  “Did you know he was arrested while trying to break into the home of Matthew Wheeler?”

        “No, sir.  I didn’t.”

        “Yes, indeed.  Mr. Clevik is looking at five to ten for Attempted Armed Robbery, Assault and a slew of other charges.”  Judge Armen looked hard at Dan.  “Did you know that he was going to mug Mr. Maypenny?”

        “No, sir,”  Dan said in a small voice.  “I came home, and Luke was there instead of Mr. Maypenny.  I didn’t figure out what happened until after the Bob-Whites brought Mr. Maypenny home.”

        “Bob-Whites?” the judge asked.

        “The Belden and Wheeler kids,” Dan explained.  “They have a club.  It isn’t like a gang,” he explained quickly,  “it’s just a club.”

        “I see.”  Judge Armen scratched his chin.  “Tell me, how would you like for me to decide this case?”

        “I’d really like to try going back to Sleepyside,”  Dan said.  “Mr. Maypenny and Uncle Bill  have convinced me that we can make this work, and I’d like to give it another try.  I think I  can do better this time.”

        “How?”

        Dan thought for a moment.  “By being honest about who I really am, and by trying to trust the people who want to help me.  It isn’t easy, but Mr. Maypenny helped me see that I can control my future by the choices I make.  I just have to make the right ones.  If you send me away, I won’t have the chance.”

        “Hmmm,” the judge looked at his watch.  “Tell me about your relationship with your uncle.”

        “It’s hard.”  Dan admitted, with a half smile.  “We don’t know each other yet, but we are trying to find common ground.  Uncle Bill says we need to work on our communication skills.”

        “Indeed?  Tell me, Daniel, are you afraid of your uncle?”  Dan looked up, startled by the question.  “I ask, because you don’t seem to speak much in his presence, and your body language suggests, shall we call it apprehension?”

        “I was afraid of him,”  Dan admitted.  “He’s a big guy, and he always seemed mad.  But he isn’t mad, he’s just scared...” his eyes widened with the realization.  “He’s scared, because he doesn’t know me either, and he doesn’t want to mess up my life.”

        “Very well,”  Judge Armen said.   He rose and asked Regan to join them.  The redhead did so anxiously.  Judge Armen spoke, “I had my doubts at the start, and I still have a few.  I have decided, Daniel, that you will be returned with conditions.  I explained them once before, but I had the feeling you weren’t listening.”  Dan blushed.  “Ahh, I thought as much.  The conditions are as follows: One, for the first six months, you will check in weekly with both a probation officer assigned to you by me, and with your caseworker, Ms. Pasquale.  If that passes without incident, your check-ins will become monthly;  two,  you will attend school regularly; three, you will be confined to the parameters previously determined, and may only deviate from this with permission from the court and Ms. Pasquale.”  Dan nodded, and Judge Armen directed his gaze to Regan.  “I am adding one more condition, and this one involves you, Mr. Regan.  I am ordering you and Dan to attend family counseling for a minimum of six months.  Both of you have indicated that you do not know one another very well.  Perhaps counseling can help rectify that situation.”  He looked from one to the other and asked, “Do you have any questions?”

        “No, sir.”  Dan and Regan answered in unison.

        “Good,”  Judge Armen stood.  “Now good luck and go home.  I have other appointments.”  He shook both of their hands, and exited out the back door of his office.

        Dan looked at Regan, a huge smile on his face.  Regan stood and held out his hand.  Dan took it, and accepted the hug that followed. 

        “Let’s go home,”  Regan said huskily. 

        Dan nodded his agreement, but asked, “Could we maybe make a couple of stops first?  There’s something I need to do.”

        “What?” Regan asked.

        “I want to light a candle, and I want to show Mum that you came for me.”

Regan was silent. After a moment, he nodded.  “We’ll stay another night at the apartment.  Let’s go light some candles and visit Saraid.  We can go home tomorrow.

        Regan called for car service, and following Dan’s instructions, the driver took them to St. Cecilia’s.  The man looked a little nervous as he surveyed the shabby neighborhood, but after Regan promised him a big tip, he locked the doors while his passengers went inside the church. 

        The church was quiet at three in the afternoon on a Thursday.  Dan walked in confidently, clearly on familiar turf.  Regan followed.  Inside the silent sanctuary, the big man followed his nephew as the boy genuflected and lit his candles.  When Dan had finished, he went out into the hall. 

        Knocking on the door of the priest’s office, he shifted from one foot to the other.  A lean, middle-aged man wearing the familiar Roman collar, answered the door.

        “Daniel!” he exclaimed, pulling the boy into a hug.  “It’s wonderful to see you!  How are you doing?”  He looked curiously at the man standing behind the boy.  “Who is this?” he asked.

        “Father Paul Mazzeo,”  Dan said proudly, “I’d like you to meet my uncle, Bill Regan.  Uncle Bill, this is my priest, Father Paul.”

        Father Paul grasped Regan’s hand.  “Liam Regan.  I prayed that you would come for young Dan.  Saraid wanted so very much for you two to be together.  This would make her so very happy!”

        Regan didn’t correct the priest.  The name Liam didn’t sound so wrong, coming from his mouth.  He shook the man’s hand, at a loss for words.

   

        “We are going to visit her grave, Father,” Dan said.  “We’ve already lit our candles.  Uncle Bill is taking me to live upstate, and there are...um...conditions, so I might not be able to get to the cemetery for a while.  Or the city...”

        “Your parents will understand, Daniel.  If it would make you feel better, I can make a monthly visit for you, and you can light a candle in any church.  Is there a Catholic Church in your town?” he addressed the question to Regan.

        “What?” Regan asked.  “I mean, yes.  Yes, there is a Catholic Church in Sleepyside.  Two actually: St. Ann’s and St. Augustine.”

        “So you will be well shepherded, Daniel,” Father Paul said, placing his hand on Dan’s head and saying a blessing over him. “I’ll write, if you will.”

        “I will.  Thank you, Father Paul,”  Dan said.  He turned his eyes to his uncle and said, “We’d better go, before it gets too dark.”  He hugged the priest again, and started for the door.

        Father Paul shook Regan’s hand, and said, “I will pray for the both of you, Liam Regan.”

        “Thank you, Father,” Regan said quietly.  “We need all the help we can get.”  He followed Dan back to the car.

        At the cemetery, Regan again found himself following his nephew.  Dan wended his way through the markers with complete confidence, making it quite clear to his uncle that he had spent a good deal of time in this place.  The sun was setting, and Regan found himself squinting in the fading light.

        Dan stopped in front of double grave marker made from a light colored marble.  “It’s pale green marble,” he told his uncle.  “She was so proud of being Irish.  When Dad died, he had a plain marker;  the Army paid for it.  When Mom knew she was dying, she picked this one for both of them.  It’s pretty, isn’t it?”

        “It’s beautiful.”  Regan looked at the the stone, trying to reconcile his lovely, red haired sister with the name carved in marble.  Tears welled up in his eyes, as he thought of all the might-have-beens.

        Dan moved closer to his uncle, reaching for his large, freckled hand. “She chose the inscription as well,” he said.  He pointed and read it.   “Mé  toil cion thú go ceann tráth.  It means...”

        “I will love you to the end of time,” Regan finished.

        “You know Gaelic?”  Dan asked, surprised.

        Regan squeezed his nephew’s hand.  “Not much,” he said.  “But Saraid used to say that before I went to bed.  I’d forgotten, until now.”

        “She used to tell me that too,” Dan admitted.  “She had that put on the stone so I could see it if I ever started to forget. If I needed...”  His voice broke.  “I miss her.  I miss both of them.”

        “I know.”  Regan felt helpless, in the face of Dan’s obvious grief.  He wished he could comfort the boy, but he was at a loss as to how.

        “She wanted us to be a family, you and me, I mean,”  Dan’s voice steadied as he spoke.  “It was really important to her.”

        “Then let’s make it really important to us, as well.”  Regan let go of Dan’s hand, and draped his arm around the boy’s shoulder.  “Deal?’

        “Deal.”  Dan leaned against his uncle, and sighed.

        Regan looked up as the stars began to appear in the night sky.  One seemed to be particularly bright, and he had to wonder if it was, perhaps,  Denny:  Saraid’s Wishing Star.

Inside the Jacket 6

Index

Epilogue

Main