Healing
Part 3
July 25, 1984
2:45 pm
Walking was excruciatingly difficult, but he did it. As soon as he could walk to the bathroom and back, they would remove the urinary catheter, and that could not happen soon enough for Dan. Clenching his teeth, he focused on moving the metal walker, one step at a time. Dan was determined not to stumble. Hovering by his side, pushing the I.V. stand, ready to catch him if he fell stood Sven, his private nurse. If the man were green, instead of blue-eyed and blond-haired, he could have doubled for the Incredible Hulk. Shaking, Dan managed to make his way, slowly and painfully, across the room. Unfortunately, he couldn’t quite make it back to the bed.
Sven helped him, raising the bed and tucking him in with surprisingly gentle hands. “That was good for your first try. You can give it another try later. How do you feel?”
“Great.” Dan couldn’t unclench his teeth.
“If that is ‘great’, I do not want to see you when you feel poorly.” Dr. Consintina spoke from the doorway.
Dan groaned as the doctor approached, bracing himself for another lecture.
The doctor took Dan’s chart from its place on the wall, and looked it over. Shaking his head, he said, “Listen to me, young man. You had surgery less than twenty-four hours ago, and you lost a large amount of blood; you can’t expect to walk out of here and go run a marathon. I get that you don’t care much for the drugs--you’ve made that quite clear. Unfortunately, you need them right now. You need to rest and let your body heal, and that isn’t going to happen if you’re in pain.”
Dr. Consintina looked at Dan with pale, appraising blue eyes, even as he reviewed the chart. His voice softened. “I don’t know what happened to you in the past, but I do know this: You don’t have to hurt. It isn’t necessary, and it isn’t going to help you in the long run.” He flipped the chart closed. “As I see it, you have a couple of options. Your oral fluid intake is pretty good and your output is consistent, so I might be persuaded to take you off the I.V. if--and this is a big if--you agree to take your pain medication orally. We’ll leave the I.V. catheter in, with a heparin lock to facilitate your antibiotics, but we can disconnect you from the bag either tonight or in the morning. What do you say?”
“Pills?” Dan asked, his jaw still clenched. “Will they make me feel as wasted as that other stuff?”
Dr. Consintina smiled. “I think I can find something that won’t completely knock you loopy, but you do need to sleep.” He handed the chart to Sven. “So you will take the medication when I say you take it,” the doctor narrowed his eyes at Dan, “and if I catch you palming the pills, or trying to avoid them in any other way, I will have you back on that I.V. and drugged into full compliance before you can sneeze. Understand?”
“Yes, sir.”
“Good. Now please answer Sven’s question. How do you feel?”
Dan gave in. “Lousy,” he admitted. “I think my leg might be trying to kill me.”
“I think I can fix that.” Dr. Consintina assured him, reaching into his coat pocket. “I was hoping you’d be reasonable.” He handed Dan two white tablets, and Sven poured him a glass of water. They both watched as Dan swallowed the pills, staring pointedly, until he opened his mouth to show proof. “You should start feeling some relief in a matter of minutes,” the doctor said, “and as soon as you feel ready, you have visitors.”
“Visitors?”
“Yes.” The doctor grimaced. “Six of them. I understand they refuse to leave the hospital without seeing you.” He smiled, the grin flashing across his face so quickly, Dan thought that he had imagined it. “It’s highly irregular to have as many people running in and out as you’ve had. I understand the circumstances--that is why we’re bending the rules--but I certainly hope that once these visitors are gone, you will rest.”
“I will.” The medication in the tablets started to do their job, and as the pain began to fade, Dan was finally able to relax his jaw. “I promise.”
“Good.” Dr Consintina held out his hand. “If you keep your promises, I’ll keep mine. As soon as you can make it across the room, without your leg trying to kill you, I’ll see that the urinary catheter is removed. You can try again this evening. After you rest.”
“Thanks.” Dan shook the proffered hand.
“You’re welcome.” The doctor peered at him again. “Now how do you feel?”
“Better,” Dan answered. “Almost human.”
“Good. I’ll send in your kids, but keep it short. You need to sleep.”
“Yes, sir,” Dan promised. “I will.”
“I’m holding you to that...Cowboy.” Dr. Consintina followed Sven out the door. Dan closed his eyes and leaned back against the pillows, relieved that the burning throb in his leg had dulled to an intermittent, stabbing ache.
They came in pairs. The buddy system was still very much in effect for the campers of Cabin 3.
Brady and Luis came first, the younger one the taller of the two. They peered at Dan uncertainly, their eyes worried. Dan grinned, and the boys relaxed. “You okay, Cowboy?” Brady asked, taking Dan’s hand and squeezing it gently.
“No.” Dan answered honestly, knowing that Brady would see the truth despite any effort to shield him. “My leg hurts, and I really don’t want to be here.” He smiled again. “But I am going to be okay. It’s just going to take a couple of days.”
Luis rested his upper body on the bed. “There was a lot of blood,” he said.
“You saw that?” Dan asked, concern in his voice.
Luis nodded. “We all did. Mark opened the door for the cop, and we watched them put you in the ambulance. I thought you was dead. Denis ain’t talking much, but he thought so, too.”
“I’m sorry you saw that, Luis.” Dan focused his attention on the boy. “I’m sorry any of you had to see it. It was a really bad thing, but you guys are all okay, and Ted and I are getting better, right?”
Brady nodded, but Luis just looked at Dan with solemn, dark eyes. Finally, he nodded as well. Someone knocked on the door, and Brady said, “That’s the signal. Our turn is up.”
“Okay. I want you to know how proud of you I am. You guys stay safe, okay? Cabin 3 boys...”
“... Stick together.” Brady and Luis chorused, both managing to smile as they left.
It was easier with Kris and Sam. Kris wandered around the room a bit, looking at this and that. Dan had to tell him twice not to touch the catheter bag, but otherwise, Kris was happy to see “Cowboy”, and eager to tell him about his own adventure in the hospital. Sam was quiet, asking a few questions, but generally just observing Dan, drawing his own conclusions about his condition.
When the knock came, Kris headed for the door with a cheerful wave; Sam lingered a moment. Reaching into his jacket pocket, he pulled out two small containers of applesauce. Hesitantly, he handed them to Dan, saying, “Ranger said they only gave you Jell-O and juice. I saved these for you, in case you were hungry.”
Dan took the applesauce. “Thank you, Sam,” he said seriously, patting the boy’s arm. “I really appreciate this, but I’m not going to leave you empty, am I? Because the people here are really nice, and they will bring me food when I want it. I haven’t eaten much because my stomach was feeling funny because of the surgery.
“Oh. I didn’t know that.” Sam looked at the applesauce, longingly, and shook his head. “No, Cowboy. Ranger’s dad got us all candy bars out of the machine. I’m good. You keep it. Just in case.” Another knock sounded, this one louder. “I gotta go.”
“Take care, Sam.”
“You too, Cowboy.” Sam tossed Dan a rare smile as he left.
The door didn’t have a chance to close before Mark was inside the room, pulling his brother behind him. Denis had his eyes tightly shut, his lips clamped and his fists clenched. Mark dragged him toward Dan, halting inches from the bed. “Cowboy,” he said, in a tone halfway between disgust and despair, “Will you please tell my idiot brother that you ain’t dead?”
Dan reached out and took Denis’ hand. “I’m alive, Denis. Mark, don’t call your brother an idiot.”
Denis opened first one gray-green eye, and then the other. Relief lit up his eyes for a brief moment, and then his expression crumbled, and he buried his face in the blanket of the bed, sobbing. Dan stroked the sandy blond hair, while Mark patted his brother’s back. With an apologetic look, Mark tried to explain.
“We saw you, after Billy shot you. I tried to block his eyes, but he saw all the blood anyway. Then, nobody would let us see you, and it was...” Mark swallowed, hard. “It was kind of like when our mama and papa died. Guns and blood, and then, gone.” Mark took a deep, ragged breath. “Ranger told him you weren’t dead. I told him. That shrink guy, Dr. Nakatura, he told him. Even your dad told him, but he just wouldn’t believe us.”
“Do you believe it now?” Dan asked gently.
Denis raised his tear-streaked face. “Uh huh.”
“Good. I’m doing better. How are you?”
“Okay, now.” Denis wiped his face on Dan’s blanket. “I was scared, Cowboy. I was scared the whole time. When the lightning flashed, and the mouse ran on me, and Billy, and the blood...I’m not very brave.”
Dan shook his head. “I disagree. My father told me that only a fool wouldn’t have been scared, and I think he’s right. I was scared, too, Denis. We all were. But I kept on going, because that was what I had to do. You kept on going, too. That took a lot of guts, not giving up.”
“Really?” Denis looked first at Dan, who nodded, and then at his brother.
Mark shrugged. “I said you were an idiot, not a coward.” Denis scowled at his brother, and then took him completely by surprise with a full body hug. Mark returned the hug, patting his brother’s back. “Go on outside, Den. I wanna talk to Cowboy.”
“Okay.” Denis turned to Dan, a huge smile on his face. “I hope you get out of here soon.”
“Me, too, buddy. Me, too.”
Mark waited until Denis had gone. “So, your dad, huh?” he asked. Dan nodded. “He’s pretty cool, for an old dude.”
Dan laughed. “Yes, he is.”
“He flew all the way out here, right?”
“Yes.”
“Because he’s your dad, even though he really isn’t.”
“Yes.”
“My aunt called this morning.”
Dan had a hard time following Mark’s train of thought. “Your aunt?”
“Yeah. My Aunt Marina. She’s driving up from Oregon to see Denis and me. She’s bringing Julia.”
“How do you feel about that?”
Mark shrugged, a typical Mark shrug. “I don’t know. It’s weird. I don’t know her, but she’s coming for us, even though we’re okay. Because...”
“Because you’re her family.” Dan finished.
“Yeah.” Mark smiled tentatively. “Family. So, maybe this will work?”
“I hope it does Mark, I hope it does.” Dan closed his eyes for a second, his energy beginning to fade. “It’s all about choices,” he told Mark, his voice slowing as he fought the medication.
“Cowboy? Hey! Dan!” Mark shook Dan’s shoulder. “Are you okay?”
“Yes.” Dan opened his eyes, and tried to smile. “It’s the medicine. It makes me tired.”
“Oh, man. I’m sorry.” Mark looked genuinely distressed. “The doc said to be quick, and here all I did was talk. I’ll go now.”
“Wait.” Dan focused fully on Mark. “I need to tell you what a great job you did, Mark. You were an awesome leader. I’ll take you on my team any day.”
“That’s the drugs talking,” Mark said, but his smile belied his words.
Dan shook his head. “No, it’s not. It’s the truth.”
Mark shifted his weight from left to right. “I had a good teacher,” he mumbled. “I’m going to go, so you can rest.”
Dan nodded wearily. “Would you send my dad in, please?”
“Yeah.” Mark watched Dan for a second, and then hurried out the door to find Mr. Maypenny.
Thomas Maypenny stood over Dan, watching him fight to stay awake. “You should be sleeping, son,” he admonished, reaching for the button that lowered the bed.
“I will,” Dan said, forcing his eyes open, “but I need you to do something.”
“What?”
“Go with Jim and the boys. They need...” Dan stopped to yawn. “Mark needs you.”
“Why does Mark need me?”
“He needs to know...about making...choices. Like me.”
Maypenny closed his eyes, remembering the first of many conversations he had had with Dan. “I came to be with you, son,” he reminded Dan.
“I know.” Dan struggled to keep his eyes from closing. “But I promised the doctor I’d sleep. Mark...” his voice faded. “I can’t...tell him.”
“Very well, if that is what you want.” Maypenny brushed a hand through Dan’s hair. “I’ll go with Jim and your boys, and I’ll talk with your Mark, if he’ll listen, but I’ll be back for you, Daniel.”
“Thanks, Dad.” With that weight off of his mind, Dan gave himself over to sleep.
