Travelogue: New York part 1

Travelogue: New York
part 1

December 7, 1981

Tessa Hart, age 13, pressed her face against the window as the train pulled into the station. It was dark, but the city lights were bright. Three months, twelve states and more trains than she had known existed, and they were finally in New York. Soon she would be meeting her paternal grandparents--people she couldn’t remember ever having met--although her mother told her that she had, back when she was very small.

She looked across her seat at her mother. Sarah was checking the luggage, making sure that everything was gathered and secure. This was the last train for the Hart women. They would spend two weeks in New York City, meeting and visiting with Jack Hart’s parents, brother and sisters. After that, they were heading down to Washington, D.C., returning to spend Christmas at the Hart family estate at Oyster Bay, before heading upstate to meet Sarah’s half brother Peter, and his family.

After the New Year, Tessa and Sarah were off to Scotland for a two-week tour of Great Britain and Europe with Andy, Sarah’s younger half brother. Finally, they would return home, to Maui. Tessa was enjoying the trip, but she would be glad to finally get home. For a girl who had been raised in the tropical climate of Hawaii, the weather she’d experienced during the mainland winter was far too cold.

“Come on kekei,” Sarah spoke softly to her daughter. “It’s time.”

Tessa smiled, and picked up her overnight bag. “Let’s go, mama,” she said. “The next adventure is waiting.”

“Indeed it is.” Sarah led her daughter out the door and off of the train.

A gentleman in a gray suit stood in the station lobby, holding a placard that said HART in bold black letters. When Sarah and Tessa approached him, he smiled and asked, “Mrs. Hart?”

“Yes, I’m Sarah Hart...Jasper?”

“Sarah. It’s been a long time, but you are as lovely as ever.” He smiled slightly. “I take care of things for the Hart family now. Tonight I will be your guide. May I take your luggage?” he gestured toward the suitcases on the cart behind Sarah.

“Yes, thank you.” Sarah smiled. “This is my daughter, Tessa.”

“Jack’s daughter,” Jasper said softly, his eyes moistening. He looked intently at Tessa. “You’re a beautiful young lady, and you have your father’s eyes. The Hart eyes.”

“You know my father?” Tessa asked, as Jasper Perkins wheeled the cart out of the station.

“Oh, yes,” he said. “Jack and I grew up together, out at your grandparents place on Oyster Bay. My mother was the cook. I was very sad when I heard about his death.”

“Me too.” Tessa whispered. Jasper opened the door to a silver limousine and she slid into the car, Sarah right behind her.

When the luggage had been stowed, and the car was pulling away from the curb, Jasper spoke again. “The Harts are still in Florida. They sent me to meet you and to let you know what has happened.”

“Oh, dear,” Sarah said. “That sounds ominous.”

“It’s serious, but not ominous,” Jasper assured her. “Charles...Mr. Hart, had a minor heart attack three days ago. He’s doing well, and expected to make a complete recovery, but he is unable to travel right now. The rest of the family is in Florida with Barbara...Mrs. Hart.”

“Oh, dear!” Sarah said again. “How horrible for Barbara. I’m glad Wesley and the girls could be with her. This does change things a bit.”

“Wes wanted me to tell you that you are welcome to stay at the penthouse as long as you wish, but that they would like you to come to Florida, if that wouldn’t disrupt your plans too much.” Jasper spoke as the chauffeur maneuvered the limousine toward a loading strip in front of a tall, tall building. “But let me get you all moved in upstairs, and then you can talk directly with the family and decide.”

“I don’t think there is any decision to be made.” Sarah looked at her daughter. “We came to meet family. If that means going to Florida, then that’s what we will do. Right, kekei?”

Tessa smiled up at her mother. “It doesn’t snow in Florida, does it?”

Jasper laughed from the front seat. “Not where your grandparents live. It was around seventy when I spoke to your uncle.”

“Seventy,” Tessa sighed blissfully. “I’d love to see seventy again.” She grinned at Sarah, and then sobered, saying seriously, “Let’s go to Florida and lend our support to Daddy’s family.”

“That’s my girl.” Sarah hugged her daughter. “I’ll speak with your grandmother tonight, and make the arrangements.”

“Here we are.” Jasper said, getting out to open the doors. He signaled to the doorman, who came out with a luggage cart. Jasper spoke to him quietly, then turned back to the Hart women and offered each of them an arm. “This way, ladies.”

Jasper led them to the lobby elevator and up to the top floor. Leading them down the brightly lit hall he explained, “When Charles and Barbara bought and renovated these two buildings, they had five apartments built on this floor. They built the largest one for themselves, and four more for each of their children to use while in the city. This one is yours.” He opened the door on a spacious living room.

“This is our apartment?” Tessa was awestruck. She walked around the room, taking in everything.

“I didn’t know,” Sarah said. “Jack always said we’d have a place to stay when we visited, but I had no idea he meant a whole apartment.” She looked up at Jasper. “We did plan to visit, but the timing never seemed right. I know Jack wanted to spend this Christmas here, to show off the children, and to show the children New York City. That’s one of the reasons Tessa and I came.”

“Genny and Lainie decorated for you last spring.” They were excited about all of you visiting.” Jasper gestured around the room. “The two of them were like schoolgirls, giggling and planning. Would you like to see the rest of their handiwork?”

“If this is an example, I can’t wait.” Sarah gazed at the soft gold walls and grass cloth chair railing, which complemented the sage and forest green furniture. It was tasteful and elegant, without lacking any comfort.

Jasper continued his tour, showing them the state-of-the-art kitchen, and jewel toned dining area, before opening the first of three bedroom doors. “This was to have been John Jr.’s room,” he said gently, looking about the high-ceilinged room with the loft bed and entertainment center.

“Keoni would have liked that,” Tessa said. “He always wanted a television and a computer in his room.”

“Yes, he did.” Sarah agreed. She took in the bright colors. “I think he would have loved the red and blue decor. He did love bright things.”

The next room was Tessa’s. She was a little surprised by it, because the room was not decorated in a way she would have chosen. As she looked around at the peach walls, and pink and green accents, she realized that she liked them. The sleigh bed was a dark cherry, matching the dresser and vanity. The carpet was the color of a white sand beach, and her feet sank into it as she walked. Off to the side, a door led to a bathroom painted a slightly darker shade, with green tile around the sink, shower and tub.

“Oh! It’s beautiful,” she said breathlessly. “I love it!”

“Your aunts will be pleased. You and your brother fell right between their children in age, so they tried very hard to make your rooms appropriate.” Jasper opened the door to the master suite, and Sarah gasped, struggling to hold back tears.

Although the suite was much larger than the one in Hana, it was decorated in an almost identical manner. From the pale turquoise walls and antique pine flooring, to the shell pink gauze bed curtains hanging from the four-poster rails, the room was an almost identical replica of the bedroom Sarah had shared with Jack. The window, instead of looking out at the Pacific, looked instead upon the lush greenery that was Central Park.

“This is Jack’s doing.” Sarah spoke the words with complete confidence.

“Yes.” Jasper agreed. “He sent pictures and talked to his sisters almost daily. He told them that he wanted you to be as comfortable while here as you are in your own home. Did he succeed?”

“They all did.” Sarah said. “That they would go so far to make us welcome means a great deal. I must thank them.”

“I’m sure you’ll have ample opportunity to do so. Did you want to call Florida now?”

“Yes, of course. Would you have the number?” Sarah turned, as there came a knock on the door.

“That’s probably Parker with your luggage.” Jasper said, “Let me help him bring it in, and then I’ll get a phone call set up for you.”

Tessa settled in to her room, unpacking her suitcases while her mother spoke to the family in Florida. Sarah spoke briefly with her mother-in-law, who seemed very tired, and at length with her brother-in-law. It was decided that Sarah and Tessa would spend four days in New York City, before taking the family plane south to Florida for the Christmas Holidays. After much discussion, it was agreed that Wesley Hart would make the arrangements in Florida, and leave the New York portion to Sarah. Jasper was leaving the next day on business, and would not return for a week or two. Sarah had quite the time convincing Wes that she was more than capable of caring for herself and her daughter, but he finally, reluctantly, acquiesced.

Wearily, Sarah hung up the telephone, and after thanking Jasper, said goodnight. Once he had left, she sought out her daughter to discuss their four days of NYC adventure.

December 9, 1981

Sarah smiled as she pulled the brush through her shoulder length dark hair. Yesterday, she and Tessa had shopped at Bloomingdale's and Saks Fifth Avenue. They had lunched at the Russian Tea Room, and visited the Empire State Building. Today, they would be exploring the Metropolitan Museum of Art, and had reservations for a small French restaurant highly recommended by members of the Hart family. Tomorrow, there was a trip to the Statue of Liberty and the Broadway Musical, “Evita”. It was a jam-packed, whirlwind tour, but on the eleventh, they would leave for Florida, and both wanted to see as much as possible before they left.

Sarah set down her brush and went to knock on Tessa’s door. “Come in, Mama.” Tessa called. Sarah entered to find her daughter dressed in flannel lined wool slacks, a pink turtleneck, and a lavender cashmere sweater. Pink waffle knit long johns showed between the hemline of her slacks, and the top of her socks. Tessa was sitting on her bed, struggling to get her double sock clad feet into her trusty walking shoes.

“Do you think you have on enough clothes?” Sarah laughed, looking at her own slacks and sweater set. “I’m feeling a little underdressed.”

Tessa looked up and scowled. “Do you have to tease?” she asked. “You know I don’t like the cold. Yesterday I thought my toes were going to freeze right off. I might look funny, all layered up like this, but at least I’ll be warm.”

“You don’t look funny, kekei.” Sarah sat next to Tessa and hugged her. “You look beautiful, as usual. I won’t tease anymore, if it bothers you. I know you aren’t comfortable in this weather, but in a few days we will be in a much more temperate clime.”

Tessa sighed. “I know, Mama. I didn’t mean to snap, I’m just grumpy this morning.”

“Is something wrong?” Sarah placed her hand on her daughter’s forehead. “Are you feeling sick?”

“No.” Tessa pulled away. “I feel fine, just...grouchy, I guess.” She forced a smile. “I really do want to go and see the museum, and everything else. I just feel like...like hitting something, or biting someone.”

“I guess that’s normal,” Sarah said with a smile. “You are allowed to be grumpy. Just, please don’t bite or hit anyone you don’t know. I wouldn’t want you to get arrested...or pick up rabies.”

This time the smile was fragile, but genuine. “I promise.” Tessa said. “Hey, maybe all I need is some chocolate.”

“If chocolate is all it takes to make you happy, then I think I can manage to find some.” Sarah stood, but stopped and turned back to Tessa. “It’s this place, I think,” she said softly. “When you look around, you see reminders of Daddy and Keoni. I know I do.”

Tessa burst into tears, covering her face with her hands. Sarah gathered her into her arms and rocked her, whispering gently, “It’s okay. It’s okay.”

“It’s not okay.” The words came out muffled, but strong. “It isn’t ever going to be okay, because they aren’t here.” Tessa pulled away, tears streaming down her red-blotched cheeks. “Daddy was going to bring us here. He had his sisters decorate the house so we would be comfortable and happy. How can I be happy without him here to see? How can I be happy, when Keoni won’t ever get to use that computer, or listen to that cool stereo? They’re gone, Mama. How can I be happy, why? I shouldn’t be able to smile and laugh! I shouldn’t forget.”

It was Sarah’s turn to weep. Six months of pent-up sorrow and survivor’s guilt was pouring out of her baby, and she didn’t know what to do. She wrapped her arms around Tessa and held her close, without words.

When Tessa was spent, she rested her head against her mother and whispered, “I’ve had so much fun on this trip. Really, I have. But I realized that I was pretending that Daddy and Keoni were at home, waiting for us to get back. I can’t do that here. Here, they are really gone, and I f..f..eel bad because I’m having fun and they aren’t with us.”

Sarah ran her fingers through Tessa’s hair. “I do understand, Sweetheart. Sometimes I feel like I should be sad all the time too, but then I realize that your father hated to see me unhappy. He gave all this up to move to Hawaii--for me. Yes, he was happy there; he had a family, and a job that he adored, but he was happy in San Diego and Seattle too. Hawaii was for me: To make me happy. Do you think he’s in Heaven, angry with me because I’m not at home crying my eyes out over his absence?”

Tessa thought a moment, then whispered, “No.”

“That’s right.” Sarah told her, turning Tessa so she was looking in her eyes. “Your father loved us, and would want us to enjoy life. Your brother, for all he teased you, never wanted you to be unhappy. Do you remember what he did when Pokey died?”

Tessa smiled. “Yes. He dug the hole and found the shoe box, and then he wrote that whole...what do you call it?”

“Eulogy.”

“... eulogy about what a great little frog Pokey had been.” Tessa’s eyes softened at the memory. “And then Keoni picked all those flowers and helped me make the lei to send out in the waves.”

“Yes,” Sarah said. “Despite the fact that Keoni said having a funeral for a frog was silly, he did all that. Why?”

“Because he knew that I was sad, and he wanted to make the pain go away.”

“Exactly! Because he loved you.”

“Sometimes I don’t think about them for a whole day, and then, when I do, I feel bad. I miss them Mama, but sometimes, I forget to. What if I forget them?”

Sarah wiped her eyes. “I miss them too, kekei. I always will. It hurts so much sometimes, I want to just curl up and hide, but I can’t. You won’t forget them. I try to remember that I carry them with me in my heart and my memories.” She wiped a tear from Tessa’s cheek. “I see your father every time I look into your eyes, but I have to live my life and you have to live yours; maybe the two of us need to live enough to make up for what Daddy and Keoni lost. What do you think?”

There was a long pause, before Tessa said, “I think we should clean up, get some chocolate and go live for four people.”

“That’s my girl!” Sarah gave her another hug. “I’ll go make some hot chocolate--with cinnamon, “ she said in response to the unasked question. “And then I’ll call for a cab. How does that sound?”

“That sounds like a plan.” Tessa rose and headed for her bathroom. Sarah watched her go, then left for the kitchen to find the chocolate.

December 9, 1981

“That is one awesome place!” Tessa said as she and her mother descended the steps of the Metropolitan Museum of Art. “I think I could spend at least a week in there and not see everything!”

Sarah smiled, glad that Tessa’s blues had been chased away by liberal administration of chocolate and art history. She shifted her purse to her left shoulder and said, “Maybe we can visit again when we come back. I can’t believe we spent the whole day in there. Right now, I think we need to find a cab. It’s already dark, and I don’t want to miss our six-thirty reservation at Chateaux Geronne.”

“Do we need to go home and change?” Tess asked, looking down at her gray slacks.

“I think we are fine,” Sarah answered. “ Wes said it is a family restaurant, nothing too formal.” She looked around anxiously, “Now if I could just find a cab.”

Tessa pointed across the street, diagonally. “Is that a cab stand over there, Mama?”

Sarah looked in that direction. “Yes. I do believe it is.” She held out her hand, and Tessa took it. “Shall we join the crowd at the crosswalk?”

“So many people, ugh,” Tessa said. “Let’s do it.”

Standing on the icy curb, surrounded by people, all of whom seemed anxious to go somewhere--anywhere, was unnerving. Tessa huddled next to her mother, trying to avoid being pushed and shoved by strangers.

The light changed, and the throng of people hastened across the street. Nearly through the crosswalk, a skinny kid bumped into Sarah, knocking her off balance. As she struggled to regain her footing on the slippery surface, the boy grabbed for Sarah’s purse. She pulled back on the strap, letting go of Tessa’s hand. The kid yanked harder, and gave Sarah a savage shove. Sarah released her purse, arms flailing as she fell directly into the path of oncoming traffic.

For Tessa, time seemed to move in slow motion. She felt her mother’s hand leave hers, and scrambled for the curb. She watched as the thief shoved Sarah and ran off with her leather purse. She saw Sarah falling, slowly and in agonizing detail, into the path of a Yellow Cab. The screech of the brakes, and the horrifying thud as the car slid on the icy road and ran directly into the fallen woman. Tessa heard the horns blaring, and the chain reaction of cars crashing, but it was as if she was underwater. She heard herself screaming, felt her slacks tear at the knees as she threw her body across that of her mother. She smelled the blood, sharp and metallic, and saw her mother’s light brown eyes open and unseeing.

The sirens screaming in the night, hands dragging at her, all part of a nightmare, Tessa was sure. She clenched her small fists tightly around her mother’s coat and refused to let go. She screamed past the point where sound came from her raw and swollen throat, and did not release her grasp until the needle stung her skin, and the sedative administered by the paramedic dropped her into blessed unconsciousness.

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