The Past I Part 3

The Past I
Part 3

Saraid Mangan clung to life for a bit over a fortnight after Christmas. She managed the trip to Rockefeller Center on the 26th, laughing as her son valiantly tried to teach his new friend how to skate. But the activity of the holiday season sapped her strength. She became weaker and slept more. The home care company increased their shifts, adding Brigit and Maryam to Kelly and Shirley so that there was at least one nurse on duty around the clock.

Since months had passed without any leads on Liam Regan, social services sent in a caseworker to discuss Dan’s situation. It was agreed that Dan would become Paula Kawolski's foster child. He would stay with his mother until her death, and then move upstairs until his uncle was located. The private investigator would continue the search for Saraid’s brother.

Dan spent hours sitting next to the bed, holding his mother’s hand. He left her only to go upstairs for meals, or to eat the meals Tessa brought down. School resumed the Monday after New Year’s Day and Dan returned, reluctantly, with Tessa in tow.

On that first day of school, he let himself into the apartment and found Archie hovering over his mother as she lay in her bed. Shirley, the nurse Dan disliked, was standing next to him and flirting shamelessly.

“What are you doing in here?” Dan hissed at the older man, his eyes narrowing.

Archie turned to face the boy, a big smile on his face. “I’m just visiting my neighbor,” he said, his voice sugary sweet. “It’s nice to see you too, little buddy. How was school?” He stretched his hand out as if to ruffle Dan’s hair.

Dan ducked away from the hand and with a tone cold enough to freeze alcohol, said, “I think you should leave.”

Archie glared, but nodded. He leaned over Saraid and whispered, “I’ll be back for another visit soon.” Ignoring Dan’s scowl, he left the room, Shirley on his heels.

“Are you okay, Mum?” Dan asked.

“Yes,” Saraid’s voice was little more than a whisper. “Although I could do without Archie’s tobacco breath all over me.”

“Should I tell Shirley not to let him visit?” Dan asked.

“I already did. Shirley, however, doesn’t choose to follow that order.” Saraid sighed. “I think she’s smitten by his handsome face.”

“He’s handsome?” Dan was incredulous. “His eyes are too close together, and they’re buggy. He smirks when he smiles. He’s big, mean, and obnoxious, and he smokes all the time. That equals handsome?”

Saraid smiled. “It does to Shirley, I guess. He seems to like her as well.”

“He likes her big boobs,” Dan said flatly.

His mother laughed weakly and admonished him gently. “Watch your language, sir,” she said, “and tell me about your day.”

“Well, Tully Brubaker puked during gym,” Dan started, laughing at his mother’s crinkled nose. He sat with her, chatting, until she drifted off again.

Tessa found Dan asleep in the chair next to Saraid’s bed when she came down with his dinner. Shirley was leaving, and Brigit was clocking in for the 6 pm to midnight shift. Tessa left the tray of food on the table and covered Dan with the blanket from the foot of the bed.

“Thank you.” Saraid’s voice was little more than a whisper.

Tessa smiled quietly and moved closer. “It’s no problem, Mrs. Mangan. How are you tonight?”

“I’m dying,” she answered.

“I know. I’m sorry.” Tessa wasn’t sure what to say.

“So am I.” Saraid reached out her hand, and Tessa took it. “Help him. Please. He’s strong, but he shouldn’t grieve alone.” Her eyes were bright with unshed tears. “I don’t want to leave him alone.”

Tears streamed down Tessa’s cheeks. She gently squeezed the hand she held. “I’ll do my best,” she promised.

“Thank you,” Saraid said once more, her eyes closing. Tessa released her hand, placing it gently atop the blanket. Then she quietly left the apartment and returned upstairs, pausing in surprise as she watched Shirley the nurse using a key from her purse to enter Archie’s apartment.

Once more, Dan arrived home to find Archie hovering over his mother. In desperation, he stopped going to school, staying each day and making sure his mother was protected from her unwanted visitor. Saraid didn’t protest. She was barely aware most of the time, sleeping longer and deeper, her spirit separating from its failing vessel. Archie continued to try to visit, but he didn’t argue when Dan turned him away. He just smiled smugly, and left.

Finally, the end drew near. Father Paul arrived to administer last rites. Dan stood at the end of the bed, clutching tightly to Tessa’s hand as the sacrament was performed. He clenched his teeth to keep from screaming, as his heart broke with his impending loss.

When the priest had finished, Dan asked for some time alone with his mother. Respecting his wishes, Father Paul, Tessa, and Kelly left the room. Quietly, Dan lit the vanilla scented candles sitting on the nightstand. He crawled up onto the bed with his mother and curled next to her, his head on her shoulder. Saraid opened her eyes and looked at her son. For the first time in days, Dan felt she was truly seeing him. Softly, he began to sing,

“My wild Irish Rose,
The sweetest flow'r that grows,
You may search ev'rywhere
But none can compare
With my wild Irish Rose.”

Saraid smiled, closed her eyes and drifted away for the last time. Dan tried to choke back a sob, but failed. Holding himself close to her still body, he wept until there were no more tears.

Saraid had planned her funeral well. Paula Kawolski and Father Paul followed her instructions to the letter. There was nothing for Dan to do except wander through the ceremony. Tessa, mindful of her promise, stayed close to Dan, offering him a shoulder for leaning and a hand for holding. The staff and administration at the school were very understanding and even sent flowers to the viewing. Archie Kawolski stayed in the background, like a mosquito, hovering and buzzing, but never close enough to warrant Dan’s full attention.

At the actual funeral Dan sat in the front pew. At his request, Tessa sat next to him. His white shirt was crisply ironed, his trousers pressed, and his tie perfectly knotted. The ladies of St. Cecilia’s had made sure he looked completely presentable. His usually unruly dark hair had been slicked back, parted on the side and firmly gelled into place. No one seemed to notice that the boy’s soul was nearly as rigid as his hair.

Tessa knew. She, too, had been primped and pressed, her green velvet dress and patent leather shoes purchased by the woman she was there to honor. Her hair was free of its usual braids, hanging half way down her back in gold-streaked brown waves, and held away from her face by a satin bow. She sat next to Dan, holding his hand in hers, recognizing the symptoms of destructive grief, and praying that the darkness would not fall on him as it had on her the past summer.

The Mass had been said, the accolades spoken and the hymns sung. Dan rose from his pew, taking Tessa with him, and woodenly began accepting condolences from his mother’s friends and fellow parishioners.

At the end of the line stood two young men in black leather jackets and cowboy boots. Dan was jolted from his apathy as they approached. Unconsciously, he placed himself between the newcomers and Tessa. The taller of the two extended a hand. “Sorry about your ma, Danno,” he said.

Dan shook his hand. “Thanks, Luke. Georgie. I didn’t expect to see any of the old gang here today.”

Luke shrugged. “Hey. Whatever. Your ma didn’t like me much, but she was your ma. Can’t be easy for you, being alone now.”

“I’ll manage.” Dan’s voice was flat. “I always do.”

“Yeah.” Luke grinned slyly. “If you ever need a place to crash, call me. There have been some changes down in the Bowery. We got a new gang going, colors, crash pad, the works. We could use somebody with your...skills.”

Dan nodded. “Right now I’ve got it covered, but I’ll keep that in mind. Look, I’ve got to go; you guys go ahead and get some food. There’s quite a spread in the reception hall. Thanks again for coming.” Dan grabbed Tessa’s hand again and led her away from the two.

For the next hour, Dan and Tess mingled with the crowd as people ate, reminisced, and talked of Saraid. Finally, Father Paul beckoned, and they found themselves in the back of a sedan, leading the funeral procession out to the cemetery in New Jersey.

It was cold and gray as Saraid Eileen Mangan was laid in the ground beside her husband. As Father Paul finished the eulogy, Dan moved forward to place a yellow rose on the casket. As the coffin was lowered into the grave, Dan cast the first handful of earth after it. As he turned away, his eyes met Tessa’s, and he was surprised to see tears rolling down her cheeks. He was unable to summon any; there was just an empty, aching feeling in his chest. Ignoring Archie, who appeared to be leaning against Mrs. Kawolski and wailing into a large handkerchief, Dan simply walked away.

Later that evening, after Mrs. K had gone off to bed, Dan and Tessa sat in front of the fireplace. After a long silence, Tessa asked, “What did that guy, Luke, want?”

“To pay his respects, I guess.” Dan’s answer was vague.

“Try selling that line to some one else.” Tess poked Dan with her index finger. “He was after something. You may as well tell me. You know I’ll bug you until you do.”

Dan sighed. “Fine. Luke wants me to join his new gang. Back when we were living down near the docks, I kind of ran with him and a couple of other guys. We called ourselves a gang, but it wasn’t real. Now I guess it is.”

“So why does he want you in it?”

“Because I’m pretty good at stealing cars.” Dan waited for the fallout.

“Hey, I knew you got busted for joy riding,” Tessa reminded him. “So don’t ask me to be surprised. How many did you steal before you got caught?”

“Nine.” Dan suppressed a shudder at the memory. “Ten was not my lucky number.”

“Why did you do it?”

“I guess because I was mad. Mad at my dad for getting himself killed. Mad at my mom for working so hard, and at myself for not being able to do anything about anything. Taking cars was a thrill. It was about driving them and being in control. I really didn’t think of it as stealing. I always put them back where I found them.” He grinned wryly. “Except for the last one.”

“I don’t guess Luke is looking to go joy riding?”

“No. He wants me to jack high-end cars for parts. The deal is, I jack the car, he sells it to his cousin--who runs a chop shop--and I get a percentage.”

“That doesn’t sound very fun or safe.” Tessa looked concerned.

“No it isn’t.” Dan turned very serious. “Before, I was just doing it because I could. I never took the cars to hurt people, and I did return them. But Luke’s all into this big ‘gang’ thing. Before, we were just a little wild, but now he’s got colors, a name, a uniform almost, and I heard some rumors that he’s doing some drug dealing for one of the bigger gangs. Cocaine. That stuff is bad news, and dangerous, too. One of the guys we used to hang with, Mickey, he got killed in a drug deal.”

“That is bad,” Tessa agreed. The silence returned, and they basked in it until the slamming of a door broke the quiet. Archie came stumbling in the door, hair standing on end. He stopped in the hall when he saw Tess and Dan.

“You kids get to bed,” he half shouted. “It’s damn near midnight, and tomorrow’s the big day. Get!” He entered his apartment, slamming the door again.

“What’s with him?” Tessa asked. “Tomorrow’s Sunday. What’s so big about a Sunday?”

“Who knows?” Dan shrugged. “He’s nuts.” He rose from his chair and extended his hand to pull Tess from hers. “But it is late, so goodnight.”

“Goodnight.” Tessa walked across the hall to her room. Dan waited until her door closed, and then banked the fire and headed downstairs to his own bed. The apartment felt empty without his mother; he was almost glad he would be moving upstairs soon. Tomorrow, after church, they would clean out Mrs. K’s project room and Dan would move into it. Maybe that’s what crazy Archie had been rambling about. Dan didn’t know, and he didn’t really care. At least that’s what he told himself as he rolled over and punched his pillow, preparing for sleep.

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