Dear Trixie,
Surprise! It’s me, Jim.
I know I haven’t written this summer, but I wanted you to know that I have been thinking about you. I could say that things have been really busy, and that is true, but really, I didn’t know what to say.
Last night, while we were waiting for news, Dad filled me in on what has been going on in Sleepyside. It’s cool that we share a cousin. Weird, but cool. I look forward to meeting her. I will be really glad to get home.
I’m sitting in the atrium of the hospital. I bought this card in the gift shop, because the picture reminded me of your eyes. When I left Dan, he was arguing with his doctor about pain medication. He doesn’t want to take it. I think he’s nuts. I saw his leg while they were redressing it. He’s got this gash that’s all stitched and seeping, and all around it is one huge bruise. It has to hurt, but he doesn’t want to take the meds, because they make him feel out of control.
That’s kind of how I feel when I’m with you. You mean the world to me, and it scares me. It makes me feel out of control. When I’m scared I say things I shouldn’t, or don’t say things I should.
Dan and I have really shared a lot this summer. He’s smart, and he isn’t afraid to point out when I’ve been a jerk. So I’m telling you, Trix. I was a jerk, and I am sorry.
The last two days were eye opening for me. We were literally running for our lives. Dan and I were responsible for six kids and a man with a bullet wound. There wasn’t time to think. It was just go. Yesterday, when Dan was bleeding all over me, all I could think was that another person I cared about was going to die, and I couldn’t do anything about it. Again. I was angry and scared. But while Dan was being operated on, I started thinking about you. If we had died out there in the woods, I never would have told you that I think that I love you. I mean, I know I love you. You are my best friend. Not my best friend of the girls; my best friend, period. I can talk to you about anything and everything--even stuff that would make other people sick. But, I think that maybe I love you in that other way. In that girlfriend-boyfriend, forever way. I don’t know for sure, because I’ve never felt like this before, but I’d like to maybe try and see if it’s real. If you want to, that is. Because I never, ever want to lose my best friend.
Anyway, I just wanted you to know.
I’ll see you soon,
Jim